Tonight I went out with the girls for the first Mexican Movie Madness of the school year. In case you don't know, this is an event mostly for my sorority sisters where we go to a cheap (but filling and delicious) Mexican place near campus and then head over to the AMC theater down the road which has movies for $4 every Monday-Thursday. It's a fun, cheap way to hang out and have a good time outside the sorority house.
In continuing, we saw the movie Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts, who happens to be one of my favorite actresses. I love her smile and laughter because there is always so much joy to be found in the sight and sound of it that I can't help but do the same. This movie is about finding yourself; moving on from the mundane and finding a balance that can help you to be happier with life in general. This is something I need and have needed for years now.
As a college student, I'm an oddball. I have never changed my major; I've had a plan since I was 13 about what I wanted to do; and I have never veered off course from that plan. Not once. I'm not saying I don't like the plan and am too afraid to admit it, but I just know it's not what I'd rather be doing.
To give you some background, I'm a senior Hospitality major down in Fayetteville, AR. I plan on attending culinary school soon after graduation and opening a bakery specializing in custom cakes somewhere down the road. That's the plan, anyway.
Obviously, the last sentence alludes to an alternative wish. What is that, you may ask. My hobbies are singing and writing stories of the fantasy and science-fiction genres. I'm attempting to get published, but so far it is not going well. No bites on the line, at least. I'm one of those people that goes along, seemingly content with her lot in life, but really I'm screaming on the inside for someone to listen. I want support in my dreams, but I don't get it from those that I should be getting it from. I want a little less stress in my life, but there's a slim chance of that every happening. Yes, it's all "I want, I want, I want". This movie is actually making me admit all of this stuff to the internet. Once it's out there, it'll stay there and that's absolutely fine with me.
Recently, I studied abroad. I made it to Scotland, England, Ireland, France, and Italy and yet I feel like I wasted my time. I should have traveled by myself if no one else would go. I should have gone to Germany and Spain and Greece like I wanted to, regardless of whether or not I was alone. But I didn't go alone. I went to London by myself for 4 1/2 days and was too frightened to do anything of that caliber again. Blegh, I shouldn't be writing all this to strangers.
But the thing is that I want to go back. I want to go back so badly that it actually hurts. There's this burning inside of me to be free and to live where I want to live and not where my family lives or where a specific school is. Yes, I love Fayetteville, but I loved Edinburgh and Rome and Venice and Florence so much more.
When I was watching the part of the movie where Roberts' character is in Rome, I nearly wanted to cry. The views were breathtaking in the film, just as they are in real life and I'll post some photos later on to show you. They are pictures that I took myself and have not been photo shopped. They are gorgeous.
I'm a worldlier person, but I want more. I caught the Europe bug or the travel bug. Call it what you will, but no matter what you call it, there is no cure and there never will be. I yearn for adventure and I'm not finding that here and it's killing me slowly. So what am I going to do about it? Nothing. Yet. I'll graduate and go to culinary school and save up my money. And when I have enough, I'll go back to Europe. And I'll stay there. That is where my heart is.
I hope this post was not too depressing. I needed to get my feelings out there. As a short review for the movie, it was much better than I anticipated, but it was entirely too long. Well, until next time... Stay random!
P.S. Here are the pictures I promised.
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